The Autobiography of Uncle Duke:

William Kendall Haydon was born in rural Kentucky in 1948. When he was 3 years old, he was identified as the 38th Duke of Raywick and lived his early years as an exalted and revered prince in a castle not far from Fort Knox. Shortly after that he entered parochial school and for the next 12 year was tutored extensively by well-meaning Nuns, Priests and Brothers in the Baltimore Catechism and other forms of Catholic propaganda. After graduating from college with a major in English and a minor in Post-Adolescent Debauchery, he lived for an extended period of time (no one knows how long) in a remote section of Mammoth Cave where he subsisted solely on mushrooms, bacon, bourbon and branch water, read and re-read The Lord of the Rings and somehow acquired a degree in Civil Engineering and an ex-wife. Emerging later in life with bad hips and diminished hearing, he went about quieting the voices in his head by studying and practicing Buddhism. Which works. Sometimes. And when it doesn’t, that’s OK too. Mostly. It’s not the Buddha’s fault.